Maggie: what does ‘nonsense’ mean? Oh like when I talk? I hope an earthquake doesn’t knock down my favorite McDonalds. I love McDonalds. Am I talking nonsense again?

My kids’ thoughts on the earthquake as it happened were predictably entertaining. Maggie thought a truck of unusual size was driving by (although she couldn’t imagine a truck that big), and Tommy thought Maggie was stomping around his bed and messing thing up.

Me: FedEx is here.
Maggie: I’ll take care of it.
Me: ok
Mags: really?! I can bring the boxes in and everything?
[high pitched squeal voice] I’m like a human!!!

Saki and Maggie got up and looked around the house and came back and saki said “everything looks ok. Except for one thing. It looks like an earthquake in Tommy’s room.” Maggie said “That’s a bad joke.”

Me: do you want to ride home with me or daddy?
Maggie: Who is gonna win?

Maggie: I’m confused. There’s animal chicken and food chicken.

Tommy, talking about something that happened a long time ago: Are we the only ones who didn’t laugh historically?

Tommy: how many British accents are there? Are we using an accent right now? I thought William Shakespeare was British. Would you like to meet a rocket raccoon? First of all, he’s a raccoon. Second, he has a gun. And he has an English accent.

Tommy: Canada is the best state.

Tommy: when I grow up, I’m probably gonna own a shop named Flea Market.
Maggie: and I’m gonna own one named Magic. And sell aaaaalll kinds of unicorns.

Tommy: The thing I like about Canada is that our friends are there. And I like their flag.